Healing Your Heart After Pregnancy Loss

Posted By Dr. Braverman || 15-Apr-2014

By: Helen Abbott

While many of us become excited about becoming pregnant and eagerly awaiting that positive sign on the pregnancy test, there is another side to pregnancy which is often overlooked and rarely spoken about.

When we experience the loss of a wanted and much loved baby, we often struggle to know whether we are responding in the 'right way' because we aren't taught about this kind of loss or how to behave. People who experience a very similar loss can respond completely differently, while people who have had vastly different experiences can respond similarly. The challenge for each of us is to understand that there is no 'right' or 'wrong' way to deal with this kind of loss and to have faith that we are responding in the way we need to, to best support our emotional healing.

It is easy to see why this is such a difficult experience to come to terms with when we understand the lack of validation that is often offered for this kind of loss by society. It can certainly feel like an unwelcome topic when raised, even amongst those who have some level of awareness, and this secrecy means that our knowledge of how to respond remains limited as does the understanding of society in general. Sadly this lack of openness contributes to our struggle to heal and even survive.

Without internal or external guidance systems we can often find ourselves feeling completely alone with only our thoughts and emotions; A lack of understanding of the significance of pregnancy loss can often lead to flippant remarks and worse, uncomfortable silence. Unless someone understands what has been lost it is unlikely that they will be able to acknowledge you or the loss in a way that is appropriate. We are often caught off guard by the rather callous but well-meaning responses of other people. We hear things like, "It wasn't meant to be", "It was natures way" and "At least you know you can get pregnant". They all seem viable in a logical sense but our hearts still feel lost, hurt and empty.

The emotional rollercoaster we often experience after the loss of our baby can leave us appearing perfectly fine on the surface while feeling desperately alone and deeply saddened in our hearts. The ability to move forward after such a loss is dependent of many things, most of all the ability to understand how to heal our hearts, an area that Dr Jeffrey Braverman and his team fully support as being a fundamental and necessary component to the overall wellbeing of their patients.

Working through our emotions is as important as receiving the best medical care after our loss and finding a medical support team that subscribes to this philosophy is essential to maximise our recovery.

Helen Abbott is a specialist in the area of emotional healing after pregnancy loss and the author of Beyond Pregnancy Loss: From Heartbreak to Healing.

To assist you in your emotional recovery, Helen has created a FREE '30 Steps Toward Healing' Coaching Program which can be accessed through her website www.beyondpregnancyloss.com along with her book and companion workbook that provides a process for working through your emotional recovery.

The digital book is available from iBooks, the Kindle Store and other digital book stores.

1] Garćıa-Engúıdanosa, A., Calleb, J., Valeroc, S. & Lunaa, V. (2002). Risk factors in miscarriage: A review,The European Journal of Obstetrics & Gynaecology & Reproductive Biology.102, 111–119.
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